Enlightenment's real.
Found it halfway through customs,
next to cold dumplings.
Hello. Happy New Year, err Valentine’s Day. Well, St Patrick’s Day for sure!
It’s been a while. Seems we’ve got some catching up to do, you and I, since I last wrote in this space (11 February 2023). Shall we start?
It’s been a busy thirteen months. A lot has happened, globally, professionally & personally.
In no particular order: my wife’s mother died, a chronic disease was diagnosed, prospective campus tours took place, COVID finally hit us, a state hockey championship was played for & lost, we pulled off our 16th annual global travel adventure—and no one died!, new friendships formed, holding multiple estate sales we cleaned up (edited out) three generations of stuff, a state lacrosse championship was played for & lost, a high school graduation came to pass, I turned 65, old friendships broke, celebrations of life were held, 115-degree heat was suffered, an 18th birthday occurred, real estate transactions transpired, a hurricane was outrun, a cross country father-son road trip was survived, our son was launched towards college, our 10-year old lab Barney died, infinite consultations with lawyers, accountants & financial advisors transpired, we packed up and moved, identity crisis materialized…in other words: life happened.
That was just in the first six months!
And then, things got interesting. The wife, in her infinite wisdom, decided there would be no Empty Nest Syndrome for us—too pedestrian she said. So, we blew up the nest and became voluntarily homeless for the next six months. Unhoused, if you must. (More like unmoored if you ask me!) And to paraphrase Kung Fu’s Cain: we walked the earth from place to place, meeting people, and getting into all sorts of adventures.
And boy did we.
A half-year Golden Gap Year seemed like a grand idea: Push us out of our cushy comfort zones. Escape the mind-fuckery of America. Getting away from it all. Fresh novel experiences. Meaningful interactions. A chance to visit our global network of friends. Hit a few of our always-wanted-to-visit spots. Replenishing our memory banks. Find our essence as a couple. Think about our next chapter.
Change is good, right? Mutate don’t stagnate. Enlightenment follows, they say.
So, for the next 180 days, we lived out of a few suitcases of warm and cold-climate clothes strategically positioned in a storage locker in València, Spain. Have I mentioned how wonderful my wife is?
Then we traveled…and looked for a new place to live in Spain on the side. (More on that process later.)
We literally circled the globe: 53 unique stopovers, twenty-four countries, thirty-nine flights, dozens of train, ferry & car rentals, four dozen hotels, resorts & safari camps, and a dozen or so private residence visits, 100s of great, and not-so-great, meals from Andalusia to Zimbabwe and Hoi An to Punta del Este later, and we’re done. Phew! Johnny Cash’s brag-singing “I’ve Been Everywhere,”* had nothing on us internationally speaking. But I have never been to Little Rock!
Yep, we’re still standing: Smiling, holding hands a little tighter these days, and ready for more. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? Thankfully, I know that the true gift of travel isn’t measured in cold metrics but in new friends & breathtaking experiences. Check & check. But more importantly, travel for me, has always been about teaching this old dog some new tricks. Check.
So, let me share a few things we learned along the way, because the times they are a changing my friend:
► Robots are everywhere, get used to them. They are hauling away airport lounge dishes in Singapore, greeting you in Japanese hotels, taking orders in Taipei eateries, and coffee delivery robots are skirting the homeless on the streets of Miami. You gotta have your nonfat almond milk flat white latte.
► We learned that all toilet paper are not alike…and that Japanese toilets rule!
► Passport visa stamps are on the extinction list. With Digital Arrival QR codes & immigration biometrics everywhere, there are fewer stamp thuds to be had. Makes me nostalgically sad, but despite that, my dog-eared passport still makes even the most jaded crusty old immigration officer’s eyebrows raise.
► We learned that thoughtful conscientious Russian refuseniks are everywhere.
► Poverty continues to be everywhere. There always will be a gap between the rich & poor. But there is a big difference between everyday poverty & desperation poverty: There is everyday poverty in Zimbabwe, Colombia & Vietnam, but there is desperation poverty on the streets of Philadelphia, New York & Miami. The difference is hopelessness.
► I learned that the rest of the world does not take their shoes off at airport security.
► There is an utter incongruence between money & taste. The world is becoming homogenized & mediocre gauche. With noses firmly pressed against the luxury brand boutique windows, that are ubiquitous, the emerging global middle class is a good thing—less poverty—but there seems to be a growing cohort ill-begotten gains multimillionaires traveling from Russia, China & India everywhere with nouveau-riche aspirations & trailer park manners. I blame MBS, the Kardashians & TikTok.
► I learned that you can indeed have a satisfying, sophisticated & stimulating intellectual life filled with thoughtful news, entertainment & sports options outside America’s pandering infotainment bubble.
► Sadly, I learned that I am no longer a global optimist, but not for the reasons you may think—continual war, chronic poverty & climate change. But because three of the four major global power blocs are truly fucked up: China (bullying, hi-tech tyranny & over consumption), Russia (thuggery, violence & delusions of grandeur), and the US (recklessly dysfunctional, stupidity & hubris). Only the EC has any commonsense & shame left, but sadly they alone can’t overcome the other three’s sociopathic suicidal geopolitical manias. We’re doomed.
► I learned that a cup of coffee doesn’t have to cost $4.75, and a bottle of water isn’t $3.95. More like a buck each everywhere else. Someone’s getting endlessly ripped off it seems.
► We learned that many hotels are more interested in looking good than being good. They think that by slapping some PR lipstick on a pig with a smiling face they can overcome poor to bad customer service & shabby rooms. They just seem to go through the motions for the Instagram Influencers.
► We learned that whether you’re in a Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, Communist, socialist, capitalist, or wholly planned residential community (ie: Singapore, Dubai or The Village), that people are the same: all striving for a better material life. In fact, the whole world is dressing (in global brands) & eating (global foods) alike. There is a reason LVMN’s owner is the richest man in the world. (Aside from Putin, of course.)
► I learned that without humor you’re fucked.
Of course, on our half-life Golden Gap Year we also learned a lot about ourselves which I’ll share soon.
It’s good to be back!
*Song was originally sung by Australian country singer Geoff Mack in 1959, and later popularized by Lucky Starr. Cash made an iconic tune in 1996. Now you know…
Thanks for the privilege of your time, it is the most precious thing we have, and I appreciate it. Be well.
William D. Chalmers © 2024 GreatEscape Adventures, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Enjoyed immensely reading your update. An adult version of Where’s Waldo!
...and life continues....
Be well Bill!